Unfortunately, the drawback to the weblog is that it is read by my mom, and children who look up to me.  That means I have to keep everything G-rated, which means I keep my private life out of it, completely.

No one in my life knows about R, except those people in my SCA group that were there when I met him, (oh, and Roommate knows, because R has come here).  In any case, what has developed is this sense of unrealness (is that a word?).  It feels as if R is part of my imagination.  Because of that, my imagination can manipulate, distort, and otherwise foul something that, in reality, is quite beautiful.

I am completely aware of how deviant this situation may seem, but it's honestly the most amazing relationship I've ever had.  Because of the nature of it, we leave off the expectations and demands.  There are no guilt trips or tantrums.  There is simply a deep and passionate appreciation of each other, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.  It's almost overwhelming to feel it.  It literally takes my breath away.