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After the Sleep --
8-15-04
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s I thought, a good night's sleep gave me the perspective and reality
check that I needed.� I am not in love with R.� I was caught
up in emotions that he sparked, but weren't necessarily associated with
him.
��� This situation with him is too bizarre to wrap my
head around.� But I'll be perfectly honest: as long as he and his
wife are willing, I'm going to continue the physical relationship.�
It fills a lot of voids right now.
��� Despite the good advice of the well-intentioned,
it also gives me hope that there's a man who could really make me happy.�
In the few short hours that R and I have spent together, he's given me
so many things that I've wanted from a relationship: the intellectual connection,
the spiritual connection, the kind of physical attention that I crave,
and even the consideration that was lacking in so many other relationships.
��� I'd forgotten what love-making felt like.�
To be perfectly honest, I don't know if I've ever had a lover like R before:
patient, attentive, sensual.
��� Regardless of the arguments I have with myself about
those things which can be manipulated by memory and insecurity, I know
that these things with him are real, however fleeting: the friendship,
the chemistry, the fulfillment of certain needs.� It works for me
right now.
��� I think. |
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